Backstory: My “relationship” with Ianna

I’m all about efficiency. If I can do one thing that covers off a lot of bases and makes multiple things better all at once, I’ll do it. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself here, let’s back up and explain how I came to be dating Ianna.

You know how even pretty girls keep an ugly, kind of slow friend around to feel better about themselves? They do it so they look and feel better by comparison. Well, guys do it too; case and point is my friend Matt. We share interests and friends, but he’s basically a crappy knockoff version of me, actually I think that’s giving him too much credit. He’s basically a high functioning nerd, he’s not great looking, he’s not brilliant, and he’s really, really naive. I don’t know why I really maintain a friendship with him, but for whatever reason, I do.

Anyway, Matt has a coke problem. Matt also doesn’t have a very good job. I do. So you can imagine where this is going! Long story short, I lent Matt some drug money. I know, it wasn’t exactly the smartest thing to do, but he was desperate, and he actually put together a fairly solid and comprehensive payment plan, leading me to believe that despite him being a glorified junkie, he might actually make good on it.

Oh yeah, crucial point! For all the crap going on in Matt’s life, there is one positive point, which I never understood. He had this girlfriend, Ianna. Pretty cool girl. Frankly she was too good for him, but that didn’t seem to bother her, it’s probably because she had severe self esteem issues and didn’t realize how bad a deal she was getting.

By now you can probably see where this is going. I lent Matt 150 dollars for coke, and he wasn’t paying it back, so I stole his girlfriend. It wasn’t hard, like I said, her lack of any self-esteem made it easy, I just did all the things Matt didn’t do. I talked to her and paid attention, I noticed when she changed her hair or got new clothes, I made her laugh. None of this is rocket science. It only took 3-4 days of MSN and hanging out with her a bit before we were fooling around, and then another 2-3 days of that before she dumped him for me.

I know that when I end it with her, she’ll go back to him, and he’ll accept her gratefully because that’s what he does.

So yeah, Matt hasn’t said anything to me about taking Ianna away from him because he knows how much money he owes me, and he understands that if he pays me back, I’ll break up with her. I would feel like kind of a prick for essentially holding my friend’s girlfriend an emotional hostage so that he pays me back the drug money he borrowed, but let’s be honest here, he’s not exactly innocent in all of this.

As for Ianna, I have to say, it’s an interesting dynamic we have, she’s so loyal and caring, I said I loved her, but more realistically, I love the way she treats me, it means a lot, her and I have been “dating” a month now, and like I said, last night I told her I had cheated on her, and she didn’t end it. So, I can only imagine what the future has in store! Go go low self confidence!