I missed my chance to be a hero…

Last night, I was in a really bad mood, I don’t know about you, but for me, when I’m feeling down, nothing makes me feel better than McDonalds. So on my way home, I did just that, I was standing in line, waiting to order a number 6 (that’s chicken mcnuggets, for the uninitiated), when accross the restaurant, I hear a loud thud, along with what sounds like trays flying around, then a second later I hear “Mom?! Mom?! Someone help, my mother isn’t breathing!”. Everyone around ran to where the screams were coming from, the manager pushed everyone aside, he looked like he was about 25, overweight, and scared to death. He ordered one of his staff to call an ambulence, and then tried to collect his thoughts. It was clear he was trying to remember how to do cpr/mouth to mouth to try and save this woman, but he clearly didn’t have a single idea what to do.

Now, I’m a certified life guard. I’ve been in similar situations before, and saved lives before, so I figured I’d take a look. And if I could help, it would really improve my mood.

I was just about to offer my help in mouth to mouth, when I saw that the woman had cold sores around her mouth.

Fuck.

All over her mouth.

My hand was half way up in the air when I noticed, I pulled it down right away. I just couldn’t do it. I felt pretty bad, but I can’t allow myself to get that disgusting virus. Especially now.

I needed my mouth to be healthy right now, I had just told my girlfriend that I had been cheating on her, and for whatever reason, she didn’t dump me, so it was pretty clear I’d be doing a lot to make it up to her, including lots of oral. If I thought I was in trouble for cheating on her, giving her herpes would make my life pretty unbearable. I couldn’t do that to someone I love.